Why men are attached to women who treat them badly?

21 Mar

There are a lot of aspects of a relationship that are kept under the wraps- abuse or bad treatment being one of them. Strangely, when we talk about bad treatment we generally assume women to be at the receiving end. But there are plenty of relationships in which the men get treated badly by their partners and keep quiet about it. It often becomes impossible to accept that women can abuse men as they are considered weaker. But nevertheless there are men who are treated badly and tortured and even battered by the fairer sex but still love them. It is quite baffling to understand why men do not come out of such an abusive relationship. Let us explore.

male victims of domestic violence

Male victims of domestic violence

The fear of being embarrassed

Going public about an abusive relationship makes a man embarrassed. He fears that his friends would think of him as a wimp and hence continues in the relationship. In our society men who are bullied by their partners are often laughed at. This makes males more secretive about the bad treatment that is meted out to them.

fear of being embarrassed

fear of being embarrassed

Lack of self-esteem

This problem is quite complex. Men who had a difficult childhood or an abusive parent often grow up with low self-esteem. They think that they are inadequate to have a fulfilling relationship. They cling to their partners because they make themselves believe that being in a relationship is enough for them. A little bit of attention from their women is what they seek in life. They never quite understand how they are mistreated and take it as normal. Some women take advantage of this situation and treat the men as slaves.

Financial dependence

Yes, this is another reason behind men being treated badly in a relationship. In an age of woman emancipation some women earn more than their partners. Some of them misuse their financial power to control their men. The men end up being dependent on their spouses for financial support. In some cases the reverse is also seen to be true. When the female partners do not have financial stability the men take it as their responsibility to pay the bills. Even if the wife mistreats the man, he cannot leave her.

Fooling themselves

This is another complicated yet common reason for sticking to an abusive relationship. Some men use excuses to tolerate their girlfriends’ behavior. Either the relationship was good in the past or they still spend some quality time together. The men use the past good moments as excuses to tolerate the mistreatment. They may even make themselves believe that due to certain physical or psychological problem the women are behaving in a particular manner. They constantly deny the fact that the relationship is not healthy anymore.

Fear of harm

This works the other way round. Some women simply terrify their partners to stay with them. The male partners cannot leave them because they fear that if they do so, their spouses may harm themselves. The women may even threaten to commit suicide and mistreat their partners in this pretext.

The pain of starting over

It takes a lot of time to build a relationship. Men who suffer from low self esteem or are mentally weak do not find the courage to get out of a relationship and start all over again. By staying long in a relationship, they lose the confidence of entering the dating world again. Over criticism from their partners also affects their self-esteem and they start to believe that they are not capable of leading a good life. The fear of starting fresh makes them stay back.

It may seem pathetic to find other men being mistreated by women or being bullied around but there are plenty of reasons behind such submission. One needs to be sympathetic towards the men and help them to take better decisions.

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